My best friend recently shared that someone she knew from college committed suicide. Dealing with her grief, she began questioning herself as a friend, “Should I have reached out more? Is there something I could have done?”
Whether we realize it or not, we’ve all likely been in contact with someone that has considered, or committed suicide. But there’s a problem: we don’t talk about it enough. This is strange considering that The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention lists that suicide is the 10th leading cause of death in the U.S. That means, also according to AFSP, approximately 44,965 Americans die from suicide each year.
Now you’re asking yourself, “Well how was I supposed to know they felt like that?” Saving a life may depend on you recognizing signs of distress in those at risk. According to yourlifecounts.org, a suicide prevention website, the tool, “IS WARM PATH,” outlines some behavioral warning signs that should raise concern:
I – Ideation (suicidal thoughts)
S – Substance Abuse
P – Purposelessness
A – Anxiety
T – Trapped
H – Hopelessness
W – Withdrawal
A – Anger
R – Recklessness
M – Mood changes
Going back to the conversation with my friend, I think she raised a valid point. What are we suppose to do when we know, or think we know, someone contemplating suicide? The answer is not one size fits all, but after doing some research, I compiled a list of ways to help:
- Remove your feelings from the situation. This is not about you.
- Listen without judgment. People who take their own life don’t necessarily want to die; they may just find the pain of their reality too much to bear.
- Don’t invalidate their problems simply because you don’t understand, or haven’t personally experienced them.
- Continuously reinforce that they are valued, loved and appreciated.
- Remember how we talked about getting a Rent-A-Besty? Now’s the time. Call the Suicide Prevention Hotline for immediate assistance, and convince them to speak with a professional long term.
While these behaviors don’t always lead to suicide, they aren’t normal. So reach out, and ask questions. Never assume that they’re overly emotional, dramatic or attention seekers.
Remember: although a person doesn’t come forward for help, it doesn’t mean they don’t want, or need it. So take a moment from your day and perform kind gestures to those around you. You never know when you’re saving a life.
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