By Dr. Portia Lockett, Contributing Columnist
A few years ago, an exceptionally qualified individual came into my office in tears, feeling overlooked, unappreciated, overwhelmed, and consistently overworked. She had been with her company for 20 years, held several degrees, and earned numerous certifications. On paper, she was outstanding. She checked all the boxes for a great leader.
Each time she was passed over for a promotion, she received excuses that seemed to mask the real reasons for the decision. Furthermore, she often either found herself training new supervisors who would typically leave within a year, because they felt overwhelmed or were not a good fit for the role. After experiencing this cycle repeatedly, she began a journey of self-discovery. Upon being passed over again, she decided it was time to move on.
Navigating grief in the workplace, especially when it stems from feelings of underappreciation and unacknowledged contributions can be exceptionally challenging. Drawing from principles such as those found in “The Four Agreements” by Don Miguel Ruiz, which emphasizes personal growth and understanding, can be quite beneficial. Here are some practical steps you might consider to help manage your situation and emotions:
- Reflect on Your Core Values and Needs: Understand what truly matters to you in your career and personal development. This clarity can help you decide if your current environment can meet those needs or if it’s time to look elsewhere.
- Communicate Your Feelings and Needs Often, grief and frustration build up because of unexpressed feelings. Find a trusted colleague, mentor, or supervisor with whom you can discuss your experiences and feelings. This dialogue can sometimes lead to changes that improve your situation.
- 3. Seek Recognition Proactively: If you feel your contributions are overlooked, consider documenting your achievements and presenting them during performance reviews. Ask directly for feedback and where you stand in terms of career progression.
- Expand Your Skill Set: Upskilling can make you more visible within your organization and enhances your employability externally. It can be a proactive way of positioning yourself for recognition and advancement.
- 5. Network Internally and Externally: Building a broader network can open new opportunities within your current workplace or lead to possibilities elsewhere. It also provides emotional support from peers who might be in similar situations.
- Consult Human Resources: They can offer guidance on career development and conflict resolution within the company.
- Explore Counseling or Coaching: Professional help can provide strategies to manage grief and plan career moves. A coach specifically can offer guidance tailored to professional growth and overcoming workplace challenges.
- Consider a Change: Sometimes, the best way to resolve workplace grief is by seeking new opportunities where your contributions might be more valued and recognized.
- Practice Detachment: Inspired by the teachings of “The Four Agreements,” learn to detach from outcomes. Focus on doing your best without being overly attached to the recognition you receive. This can help reduce emotional suffering and build resilience.
- Mindfulness and Self-Care: Regular practice of mindfulness can improve your emotional regulation and perspective on work situations. Additionally, prioritizing self-care can boost your overall well-being, making you more resilient in handling workplace challenges.
Each of these steps can help you manage grief in the workplace more effectively, whether by changing your current situation or finding new ways to cope and thrive within it. It is commonly advised to go where you are celebrated and elevated, not just tolerated.
For more inspiration regarding grief and other subject matters visit me at;
DrPortiaLockett.com
IG: Portia Lockett
Face Book: Portia Lockett
LinkedIn: Dr. Portia Lockett
About Post Author
