Motherhood is a journey individually traveled.
A beautiful road that pulls at heartstrings, creates sepia-toned memories and can inspire women to become a better version of themselves.
It’s also a test of character and strength that takes endurance to make it to the end.
Motherhood is also challenging with highs and lows that can leave someone wrecked, tired and downtrodden from carrying the family’s mental load along with other countless responsibilities that leave little room for mom. Not to talk of domestic violence, emotional abuse and the scars long left behind.
What’s a person to do?
The Good Book of Galatians 6:9-10 tells us that hope and faith even in motherhood can go a long way.
“And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap if we faint not.”
Not fainting, or staying the course even in difficult seasons brought on by grief, being overwhelmed, being over-responsible, having a lack of boundaries and more can leave a mother exhausted. — but when little ones are relying on the mother rest becomes a luxury.
Overcoming feelings of resentment, bitterness and anger as a mom or parent, in general, takes work, intentionality and a whole lot of grace along the way.
According to 21ninety.com, being a mother, especially a Black mother is a lane all by itself.
“As Black mothers, we tend to focus so much on the needs of our families that we often fail to care for our own bodies, minds and emotions,” the article said. “Mom burnout is just as real for Black mothers as moms of other ethnicities, and the stresses that black moms deal with are overwhelming. The economic devastation from the pandemic has caused a lot of stress.”
Mothering during COVID has not made the process easier either.
“Some Black mothers lost their jobs while others have relatives who contracted or passed away from COVID-19,” the article noted. “There are also many Black mothers who find it hard to strike a balance between teaching their children at home and working from home. It is not selfish for Black mothers to practice self-care. In fact, it would be more stressful if you don’t take time for yourself.”
Some practical ways mothers can keep it going (even if you don’t want to some days as a mom) is setting personal boundaries by practicing self-care. Doing this will help your stamina as a mother even on hard days.
Eat Healthier
Eat healthier foods is a way to reduce stress.
“Instead of reaching for the potato chips and candy when you’re on a snack break from work, eat more fruits, whole grain snacks and vegetables,” 21 Ninety said. “For breakfast, you can eat whole grain waffles with honey and fresh fruit. For lunch, you might eat a tuna salad with grapes on the side. And for dinner, eat grilled fish or chicken with brown rice or quinoa. When you have a balanced diet, you’re better able to handle your daily duties.”
Go to Bed on Time
“It is also crucial to get in enough sleep at night. About one to two hours before bedtime, turn off all your electronic devices, and make the room dark,” the article noted. “Put on some relaxing music or a podcast to help you sleep. When you stay up too late every night, it causes you to not be well-rested the next day and you could be cranky, unmotivated and not excited about what the day will bring.”
Be Open About Motherhood Struggles
“Don’t just keep your pain to yourself. It is okay to talk about your struggles to trusted friends, relatives and even a licensed therapist if necessary. Find a group of people who can serve as your safe space when life gets hectic for you,” according to the article. “Choose people who will not judge you harshly but who will still tell you the truth while encouraging you to be your best every day.”
Get Your Boundaries Up
“When you say yes to numerous requests at the expense of your mental and physical health, you suffer as a result,” 21 Ninety said. “Sometimes you need to say no so that you can set healthy boundaries. If your little ones want to play with you nonstop even though you already played with them for two hours, calmly tell them that you need to prepare dinner but that after everyone eats, you will spend more time with them before they go to bed.”
For more information visit 21ninety.com.
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