For generations, society saw men as the abusers in domestic violence scenarios. But when Black women are violent towards their male partners, shame, embarrassment and complex views about Black masculinity often keep them from reporting it.
When Skai Jackson, a former Disney Channel child star, and her boyfriend, Julez Smith, got into a heated argument at an outdoor Los Angeles theme park Aug. 6, it seemed to escalate into assault. Security at Universal Skywalk quickly intervened, detaining the couple until police arrived to sort things out.
After hearing both sides and reviewing surveillance video, officers arrested Jackson — not Smith. They determined the 22-year-old actress was the aggressor and charged her with misdemeanor battery for shoving Smith during the argument.
As the news rocketed around social media, the incredulity of DJ Envy, co-host of The Breakfast Club morning radio show, spoke volumes: “She got arrested for pushing?”
“You can’t push people,” said Charlamagne Tha God, the show’s anchor. “If the guy had pushed her, he’d have [been] arrested too.”
Although the charges against Jackson were later dropped for lack of evidence — she and Smith, 19, son of R&B star Solange, each told authorities they weren’t fighting — the actress became part of a rarely-seen phenomenon: women accused of assaulting their male partners.
Role Reversal
Because women are usually the victims in intimate partner violence, experts say it’s unusual for them to be the aggressors in a heated confrontation. But with increasing awareness among men about the consequences of striking a woman — and a gradually emerging culture of female empowerment among younger generations — it’s becoming more common for women to face consequences for violence against male partners.
Given that, experts say, a woman being extra or bringing the drama during a heated argument with a male romantic partner can also bring out the police. And it’s less likely that a male victim will report it to the police.
“When it comes to Black men — who are often among the highest underreported (iPV) groups — reporting that their Black female partner has victimized them is often met with disbelief, shame, minimization, and potential criminalization,” says Domenique Harrison, a licensed mental health professional and founder of The Racial Equity Therapist.
Complicating matters is “living in a country that still perpetuates the stigma that physically bigger men, or those presumed to have more power, could ‘allow’ IPV to happen to them is hard to believe,” Harrison says.
To be clear: About 41% of women experienced intimate-partner violence or assault during their lifetime and reported a related impact, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. By comparison, just 26% of men reported the same experience.
In the Black community, slightly more than 45% of Black women and 40% of Black men are victims of domestic violence, including physical and sexual assault from their partners. This rate is significantly higher than the 36% of women and 34% of men who reported facing IPV during their lifetimes,
As a result, experts say, women who become physically aggressive during a confrontation usually don’t realize their behavior is criminal. That is until the po-po shows up, or lawyers are retained.
Pop-Culture Impact
The lesson, however, often comes through most clearly if a celebrity — like, say, a former Disney Channel child star — is involved.
While the physical aspects of IPV are the most dramatic, visible behavior, psychological aggressions, such as stalking and verbal abuse, happen more often. Research also finds that occurrence is higher among women ages 18 to 24, among racial and ethnic minority groups, and among people with mental and physical disabilities.
But Harrison, the Black therapist, says “a significant portion of the reported health prevalence and outcome data related to domestic violence and intimate partner violence within the Black community is significantly underreported.”
“It is a sad reality that in cases of intimate partner violence (IPV) and abuse faced by Black men and women, pressing criminal charges is often the last resort. Many interactions with the police or law enforcement in the Black community can lead to more violence, life disruption, and devastation,” Harrison says.
Complicating matters: in violent relationships, both partners sometimes abuse each other. When that happens in Black relationships, traditional gender roles and other stereotypes tend to make men more reluctant than women to call police or get help.
If one partner is famous, experts say, the level of drama can skyrocket; our culture sees the glittering world of celebrities as rewarding. Yet, behind the scenes, the reality can be starkly different.
Mutual Abuse
The rapper Saweetie, for example, is known as a vibrant and successful performer who projects strength and independence through her music. Her hits like “My Type” and “Tap In,” helped her become a symbol of empowerment for many young women.
But Saweetie – a.k.a., Diamonté Quiava Valentin Harper — was living something different. Her relationship with rapper Quavious Keyate Marshall, better known as Quavo, was a troubled one. In 2021, after they had split up, a video surfaced showing an intense, physical altercation between the couple in an elevator.
Saweetie’s current partner, Y.G. — rap name, Young Gangsta; given name, Keenon Daequan Ray Jackson — has faced allegations of intimate partner violence himself.
In 2020, he was accused of assaulting his then-girlfriend during an argument. Known for his tough persona and gritty lyrics, Y.G. embodies the stereotype of the hyper-masculine rapper, a figure often romanticized in hip-hop culture.
Seth Eisenberg, president and CEO at PAIRS Foundation, says solving the problem of intimate-partner violence between men and women requires a holistic approach.
“Healing requires us to look at the whole picture—not just the immediate incident, but the lifetime of experiences and unmet needs that have shaped how individuals respond to these situations,” says Seth Eisenberg, president and CEO at PAIRS Foundation.
“By addressing the root causes and encouraging healthy communication and emotional exploration, we can help break these cycles and build stronger, more supportive relationships.”
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