By Dr. Portia Lockett, Contributing Writer
I remember vividly — back in high school, I was the shortest and the least physically developed of all my friends. Just 5’2” and 115 pounds, and nowhere near the so-called “ideal” 36-24-36 figure or that coveted Coca-Cola bottle shape.
To be honest, I had a bit of a complex. Society had a way of telling us what beautiful should look like — and I did not see it in the mirror.
However, despite all that, I was her — vibrant, active, and full of life.
More Than a Body
I was the captain of the cheer team (Go Northern Eskies!), ran track, played hockey, and on top of that — I played clarinet, saxophone, and piano. I was involved, committed, and full of energy. My body may not have matched the images I saw in magazines, but it carried me through everything I loved.
Now, over 40 years later, I have not grown an inch taller. My weight has fluctuated slightly — from 118 to 127 pounds, except during pregnancy. But oh, how I’ve grown in wisdom, resilience, and joy.
I am still me — just wiser and far more rooted. Honestly, If I wasn’t Portia, I’d want to be her sister-friend.
Goodbye, Comparison. Hello, Confidence.
Those comparison days? They are gone.
I have learned to accept and appreciate the woman in the mirror — not because she fits a mold, but because she is mine. She has lived, loved, embraced joy and sorrow, and kept moving forward.
That part… definitely deserves to be celebrated.
The Hushed Grief We Don’t Talk About
Let’s keep it real for a moment.
Have you ever looked at an old photo and said:
“Who took that picture? UGHHH, In reality, you were all that and a bag of chips!
You didn’t know it at the time and definitely didn’t celebrate it. Now, you would do anything to look like that again.
That longing? That’s grief! Body grief is real — the ache for a version of yourself you didn’t even appreciate when she was present. It sneaks in quietly and, if left unchecked, can evolve into self-criticism and disdain.
Nevertheless, here is the truth: the woman in that old photo deserves your love!
So does the one in the mirror. Don’t fall into the same trap — only seeing your beauty in retrospect.
See you in the present!
Treasure who you were.
Be grateful who you are.
Celebrate who you’re evolving into.
The woman in the mirror today is just as solid, glowgeous and valuable as she’s ever been — maybe even more so.
A Gentle Reminder, your body may not look like it once did, but it has carried you through each moment of your life and has prepared you for where you are today.
It is the temple of your strength, courage and wisdom.
So today, as you stand in front of the mirror:
Say: Sister, in the mirror, what do you see?
Response: I see a _______________(choose your own affirming adjectives) staring back at me!
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