“Our Black culture may yield more ground in the cultural push and pull, losing some of its steam and substance. Yet, I must posit that love is wherever and whenever you find it — in White or Black, inner city or suburb, tall or short, online, word of mouth recommendation, at professional conference or choir practice — as long as it is love and not something that pretends to be love. I think the more our women go outside of our community to marry, the stronger the challenge would be on our men to rise up and take their rightful place in the hearts of these women. If they don’t fill the vacuum, you can bet others will, eventually.”
The divorce rate in the Black community is equally soaring, presenting another challenge to the Black family.
“Yes, the number of should-be-married and once-married ladies is huge. One may say it has even become a thing of pride to wave the once-married banner and talk often about ‘loving my daughter to death,’ as if the daughter is a finite consolation for not having a husband,” Eze said. “You know, it sort of reflects one’s level of social sophistication and spirit of independence. Beyond that, I think, in many ways, marrying and staying married has also become a matter of cash. Show me your wallet, and I will show you the type of woman that can stick with you, come summer or winter. But not all women are that way, I must add.”
But Eze added, “There are still women that will love their Black men for who they are, and will go the distance with them. There are also men who fold their hands and wait for the women to guide, feed, clothe and bathe them. Are they really men?”
E-mail senior editor Bankole Thompson at bthompson@michronicle.com.
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