Way back in 1942, the legendary bandleader, musician and composer Duke Ellington with his orchestra recorded a song titled “Things Ain’t What They Used To Be.”
It was written by his son, Mercer Ellington, who had followed in his father’s footsteps.
Neither Ellington could have ever imagined how prophetic that song title would become with the passing of the decades.
OBSERVATIONS
When the first photos of newly-elected New York City mayor Bill de Blasio and his family were seen by the public, there was something symbolic about it.
There he was, the 6’5” de Blasio with his African-American wife, Chirlane, and their two children, son Dante and daughter Chiara. Dante de Blasio’s huge 1970s flashback Afro gave the pictures an added dimension.
There was a time when such a marriage would have made it impossible for a man or a woman to win major public office.
IT’S HARD to comprehend now, but in 1968, Black men and White women “touching” on television or in movies was considered taboo. Black women and White men too, but not to the same extent.
Case in point: Harry Belafonte and Petula Clark (“Downtown”) sang a duet at the taping of a TV special. Near the conclusion of the song, Clark reached out for Belafonte’s arm and held on to it for the remainder of the song.
This, believe it or not, caused an uproar. So much so that Chrysler, the program’s sponsor, wanted to have the segment deleted. Fortunately, the automotive giant did not succeed.
Today, interracial marriages and relationships rarely create a stir, although full acceptance in some quarters — White racist diehards and Black racist diehards — is too much to hope for.
But even so, there is nothing even remotely “scandalous” about the races intermingling in marriage or in any other way.
In fact, in some cases race is less than secondary.
Take the beautiful, Academy Award-winning actress Halle Berry for example. She has had so many failed relationships and marriages that the only concern of most people is that she and her new husband, actor Olivier Martinez, will have an enduring marriage.
THERE ARE many Black/White marriages today, among them Alfre Woodard and Roderick Spencer (30 years!), Iman and David Bowie (22 years!), Tamera Mowry and Adam Housley, Aisha Tyler and Jeff Tietjens, and Donald Faison and CaCee Cobb.
But whether sizeable segments of the public like it or not, the very definition of the word marriage is changing.
Mirriam-Webster defines marriage as “the relationship that exists between a husband and a wife; a similar relationship between people of the same sex.”
The refusal to accept that on the part of, perhaps, 70 percent of the American public — the percentage used to be much higher — does not mean a whole lot because, as the old Southern saying goes, “It’s so anyhow.”
Such unions have the support of President Barack Obama and First Lady Michelle Obama.
In ever-increasing numbers, and with ever-increasing determination, people are asserting the right to be who and what they really are, the flak they will get from some mean-spirited people notwithstanding.
CELEBRITIES are among those coming out on a regular basis, including the first NBA star to do so, Jason Collins, and the undisputed king of fitness infomercials, Shaun T.
Of course, such things are always even more difficult to handle in the Black community.
Don Lemon, the award-winning CNN news anchor, nailed it in his best-selling autobiography, “Transparent.”
“I was born gay just as I was born Black, and God doesn’t make mistakes,” he wrote. “I have absolutely no shame in being gay. It’s a fact, much like the fact that my skin is brown, that I was born in Louisiana, and that my favorite color is blue. It’s a part of who I am.
“Secrets hurt me far more than they protected me.”
Lemon’s advice to others, gay or straight: “Live your truth.”
The list of openly gay celebrities is a lengthy one, and it goes way beyond Anderson Cooper, Ellen DeGeneres, Ricky Martin, Neil Patrick Harris, Adam Lambert, Elton John and all of the others.
A substantial number of them are Black, including filmmaker Lee Daniels, “Good Morning America” anchor Robin Roberts, activist/educator Angela Davis, actress Raven-Symone, singer Frank Ocean, comedienne/actress Wanda Sykes, singer Meshell Ndegeocello, author Alice Walker and many more who choose to keep who they are hidden for fear of damaging their careers.
Truth, someone wise once said, cannot be suppressed indefinitely. And then there is the song, “Everything Must Change.”
Truth and change: a good combination.
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