Would you date a man who brought his child along?
How about a potential beau who picks you up in an Uber and splits the ride? A man with a black card can signal financial stability, but what if it’s a prepaid card? Women across the internet have taken to social media to share their worst first date experiences and the results are not great. Despite the stories, singles all over are looking for love and having 50 first dates in hopes of the one that will last forever. For one local couple, a chance encounter led to happy marital bliss and they are looking to give Detroit couples the same chance.
First dates are already stressful with the pressure of meeting a new person, attraction level, potential mishaps and stand ups. Some dates are made worse by dating faux pas. Common mistakes in dating include sharing too much personal information too quickly, bringing others along and being too clingy. If that is not bad enough, new dating standards are created daily and it could be hard to keep up. Other women and men are continually raising the bar on what it means to execute a good first date. The second date is depending on it.
Relationship experts and couple DeAngelo and Rachel Webster have been married for more than eight years. DeAngelo, a life coach, and Rachel, a mental health counselor and life coach, merge their expertise to help guide clients through love and life.
“We have a unique story as our experience dating each other was a short one. After encountering each other through friends at a downtown restaurant, we spent the entire night getting to know each other and we both knew that the other was someone special. Five short months after that day, we eloped during a vacation to Las Vegas,” says Rachel. “One of the many reasons we clicked so quickly was our interest in coaching and counseling and our desire to see relationships and marriages of Black couples thrive. We realized we had a unique perspective that we could offer couples and so we started The Websters’ Life Coaching Services.”
Now, the couple helps both singles and couples find healthy dating practices. For singles, the dating scene is intense. With so many options, it can be hard deciding who to take seriously. According to the relationship experts, falling in love potential could be a heartbreaker.
“Falling in love with the potential that someone presents is something we have seen often. It is difficult for many people to differentiate between the potential of a possible mate and what that person is willing and able to give to a relationship,” says the Websters. “Not everyone is emotionally whole and therefore successful at consistently participating in a romantic relationship in productive and healthy ways.”
Remembering to keep everything in perspective is another way dating can be most effective. When the stressors of life happen, it is key to find additional sources of output to help curb any angst. Keeping negative forces from entering a budding or established relationship will aid in the health of the union.
“People often allow the emotional baggage of life to seep in to their relationships. It’s when those things remain unresolved that we are unable to live up to our full potential within our relationships. Unfortunately, people often suffer disappointment and hurt as a result,” says the Websters.
In a healthy relationship, there are little to no red flags alerting you to ill-behavior. Relationships formed in this environment are enjoyable and easy. That is not to say it does not come with its fair share of missteps.
“When each individual accepts the other without condition, judgment or retaliation, as much as we may hope, no one comes preassembled. We are all perfectly imperfect and it is important to find a partner who not only appreciates your imperfections but accepts them,” says the couple.
While the Websters serve as life and relationship coaches, advice is a part of the job. Most often, the duo warns against comparison to other couples or individuals. Allowing a person to wholly accept their partner in spite comparisons is a tale often told by the couple.
“Refrain from comparing your partner and your relationship to anyone else’s. Every relationship is unique in its own way. What works for one couple won’t work for another, and that’s okay. The key is to establish what works for the two people involved. The only person you should be talking to about your relationship is the person you are in the relationship with,” says the couple. “Too many outside influences can make you forget the reasons you got in to the relationship in the first place.”
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