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It’s been a year into the pandemic — moms how are you holding up? Good? Meh? Could be better, we know. That’s why now it’s still more important than ever to find your mom tribe and continue to make new mom friends — they need it, too.
We know that the pandemic has shifted things, including how friendships are formed and bonded over time through meeting and catching up or lamenting over childhood milestones and relatable stressors.
According to a Parents article, moms can rejoice, however, with knowing that deep-rooted friendships are still a priority and even new ones can be formed safely.
“These are built-in opportunities for making friends, having conversations and feeling connected to people going through life in the same way as you,” says Francyne Zeltser, Ph.D., a family and child psychologist in the article. Even if some of these acquaintances might not have been chosen friends, it doesn’t mean they aren’t genuine. Because you’re sharing an experience, like raising kids the same age, you have a common denominator that binds you.
“With mom friends, there is a real sense of camaraderie. A sense that we are all ‘in it together’ since we are all going through it, the ‘it’ being parenting,” says Dr. Zeltser.
Pre-pandemic, these kinds of relationships “filled up your friendship bucket” so to speak. They provided women with empathy, comfort, compassion, mentorship and fun, explains Jaime Gleicher, a psychotherapist and family counselor with Hartstein Psychological Services in New York City. Without them? We’re missing out on a lot.
The good news is there are ways to get around the obstacles social-distancing presents (while still social-distancing) when it comes to making new friends.
Here’s what mothers all over America can do to find their tribe:
Reach Out to Old Friends (and Ditch the Bad Ones)
“If you have 20 minutes, it takes the same effort to strike up a conversation with your cubicle buddy than it does to reach out to a friend you haven’t spoken to in a while,” says Dr. Zeltser. Sometimes that’s all it takes to make a “new” friend right now.
Call your long-lost cousins, childhood friends, coworkers, classmates and college buddies who you might have put on the back burner of your life.
Dr. Zeltser also stresses that now is the time to shed any friendship that you may have felt was toxic. “You have an easy excuse, you’re not socially obligated to meet up with an acquaintance who you would be seeing to keep social peace, like the mom of a friend of your daughters who you don’t really mesh with,” she says.
The bottom line? True friendships will prevail, better ones will get better, and the bad ones will likely fall apart.
Get to Know Your Neighbors
“Now that we’ve all been through almost a year of living through a pandemic, there are inconsistencies and variations between what different people feel comfortable doing and what socializing safely means to them,” explains Dr. Zeltser in the article. Friendships might grow out of what she calls “COVID comfort” situations, or spending time with people who share similar beliefs and practice safety strategies that align with yours.
Don’t Shy Away from Virtual Friendships
Think of it as a safe testing ground for the real thing to eventually blossom. Find these new, potential friends through mom groups, Zoom meetings, breastfeeding clubs and beyond. Make small talk, share stories and before you know it a friendship is formed.
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