By Cathy Mott, Contributing Writer
Fear is an emotion most of us wrestle with, often without recognizing it by name. As a coach, I see this repeatedly with executive clients. When I ask, “What’s on your mind today?” they often describe external events that stir up strong emotions. However, beneath the surface, it’s fear – an elusive and deceiving emotion. Defined by some as False Evidence Appearing Real, fear cleverly hides behind stories of blame and external causes. And so, many unknowingly fall victim to fear – the biggest liar.
Why Fear is the Biggest Liar
I encourage my clients to confront their fears by reflecting on their actions and thoughts. Many times, the lies they tell themselves are rooted in fear. For example, someone needing to set boundaries might think, “If I speak up, it won’t make a difference,” or, “They already know they crossed a line; I’ll just avoid the issue.”
These rationalizations disguise the real problem: fear. Fear of confrontation, rejection, or failure. But once the lies are exposed, clients begin to see that fear isn’t about the external situation but rather is about facing uncomfortable truths within themselves. Growth begins when we stop letting fear lie to us.
Facing yourself is a challenge we all encounter. Fear thrives on avoidance, but if you dig deep, you’ll recognize where fear has stopped you. Have you let it stop you from moving forward?
Fear: The Ultimate Thief
Fear doesn’t steal your possessions—it robs you of something far more valuable: your potential. It takes away creativity, aspirations, and the belief that you can achieve greatness. Many people are more afraid of success than failure, and fear, left unchecked, will rob you of the motivation and courage to try.
This unchecked fear often leads to anxiety. It morphs into a constant state of unease, feeding off imagined scenarios and paralyzing you further. This thief doesn’t just steal – it invades your mind and pushes you into a corner, stealing your confidence, ideas, and dreams.
How to Silence the Liar and Catch the Thief
Be Honest with Yourself
The first step in overcoming fear is honesty. It’s easy to blame others for how we feel, but real courage comes from looking inward. What are you really afraid of? Avoiding difficult conversations or situations only strengthens fear’s grip. Have the bravery to face the root of your emotions.
Validate Your Emotions
All emotions, including fear, are valid. Acknowledging fear diminishes its power. Tell yourself, “It’s okay to be afraid.” This act of validation helps reduce fear’s intensity and allows you to move forward.
Take Action
Ignoring fear only allows it to keep lying and stealing from you. Confronting it is the only way to stop its grip on your life. Whether it’s a tough conversation or a bold decision, give yourself permission to act. Practice what you want to say or do with a trusted friend or write it down to gain confidence.
By following these steps, you’ll silence fear—the liar—and protect yourself from fear—the thief—setting up the ultimate defense against both.
Coach Cathy’s Tips:
- Be honest with yourself.
- Validate your emotions.
- Decide how to handle your fear.
- Use tools like the “My Journey Within” app to help manage emotions (available on Apple & Google Play.) https://www.cwcleadershipdevelopment.com/app
I’m Cathy Mott, your social and emotional intelligence coach, here to help you navigate your emotions, one step at a time.
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