What is Mother’s Day without a healthy woman?
What is Mother’s Day without a strong woman?
What is Mother’s Day without an assertive and visionary woman who is determined to etch a promising future for her children?
All of the above attributes give us reason every year to say “thank you” to the mothers in our lives and those women who assume a motherly role for us.
But days leading up to Mother’s Day, I kept on wondering if the significance of Mother’s Day has been hijacked by buffeting commercials spotlighting the occasion as merchants insist that purchasing expensive gifts is the best show of love for your mother.
Or what about merchants using the occasion to rachet up the prices of their items because they are expecting us to flock to Somerset Mall like lambs for the slaughter on the capitalist alter of sacrifice?
At the end of the day, the merchants have the last laugh, smiling all the way to the bank.
Does a gift, no matter how pricey it is, take the place of giving our loved ones the attention and care they deserve?
Does it take the place of spending quality time with them?
Others, believing that gifts are products of guilt, use it to redeem themselves only on Mother’s Day while they proceed with their no-show tradition for the rest of the year.
Don’t get me wrong. I am certainly not opposed to giving gifts because I do it myself, with no strings attached.
But I’m a little concerned that we have become too consumed with finding gifts to show our love and less concerned with the challenges they are facing in today’s world.
When every study released by advocacy groups and the United Nations shows that women suffer the most in poverty, war and every unfortunate situation that develops due to gender inequality, it begs the question, are we committed to a better world for women?
Because of the seemingly insurmountable difficulties women face raising their children, a mother’s gift is priceless for anyone who recognizes and understands the essence of being birthed, taken care of and having the groundwork laid for a meaningful and productive future.
No amount of gifts can compensate for the work of mothers who sacrifice daily to give their best to their children.
But the celebration of Mother’s Day could be enhanced by advancing the progress of women and finding an answer to the greater questions of equal pay for women in the workplace, ending gender discrimination and health disparities in low income neighborhoods.
While dinner or brunch on Mother’s Day is typically a time for fond memories of growing up, it should be used to draw attention to the growing impediments faced by mothers in our communities.
Every year I observe how some of us make grand declarations about our love for our mothers. Sometimes we even brag on the job about what we plan to do on this special occasion. Yet these women we have just honored have to go back into society and face the monstrous inequity that forces them to trail behind their male counterparts.
Whether they are working in a restaurant, in government or big and small companies they are still dealing with a society that puts women in a corner. They have to confront a community that still gives women a second row seat in all too many situations. The irony of this is that women comprise the majority in the workplace.
It should be noted, too, that in our churches, women and their children make up the majority of the congregants. Despite the reality of women essentially being the backbone of the church, on Mother’s Day as I have observed that the men speaking from the pulpits don’t cry out in defense of women’s rights and the issues confronting them.
Instead the women are praised — as well they should be — and are given flowers but I hear no clarion call or expressed commitment to assist women in their battles. Moreover, commitment to address the health disparities women face — especially women of color — in underserved neighborhoods.
Because of the influence of the church and given that women are the majority offetory givers, it would make sense that there would be a return on their investment with pastors demonstrating a commitment to fight the root causes of discrimination against women.
Another issue is that it is still true that relatively few women have been allowed to pastor churches.
For example the Catholic Church would not ordain a female priest. How then do we expect the “Mary Magdalenes” of the world to change our society if the sanctuaries that is supposed to give them credibilty do not see them worthy to lead worship in churches?
President Obama just nominated Solicitor General Elena Kagan to the U.S. Supreme Court. If confirmed, she will the third woman on the court’s history.
This dismal court record shows that we are a long way from balancing the scale of gender equity and justice.
The late Dr. Dorothy Height, who led the National Council of Negro Women, stood out in the battle for civil rights because she would not take a back seat and believed steadfastly in fairness in all areas. In a world where men have long dominated, Height showed that women can be effective in leading mass social movements.
Height’s memory is linked to the Civil Rights Movement because she epitomized the millions of women who looked up to her leadership as an exmaple of what they could do in their own lives.
The World Economic Forum released a report in March showing that companies in the U.S., Canada, Spain and Finland lead the world in hiring the largest number of women in management and entry level positions.
Yet the report discovered that women still are behind in pay compared to their male peers. It is reported that women in the United States still make 70 cents to every male’s dollar.
That, like society itself, must change.
Equity cannot be selective.
And the battle is not over according to Ayana Ife Iyi who is organizing “Heal a Woman, Heal a Nation” conference to take place May 22 at the Aisha Shule Academy in Detroit.
“Equal pay for women will never be a reality,” she boldly stated. “We are in a patriarchal society and until men recognize that women offer a mountain of information and skills, not as their equal but as their very capable partner things will remain the same. Brothers, you don’t have to be intimidated by the sister that brings it. We are only seeking balance and from that, fairness. Women have to constantly reinvent themselves in order to survive. There is no such thing as job security.”
Iyi said Mother’s Day should be everyday.
“This man-made holiday fattens the wallets of the various greeting card companies, the restaurants and florists. Do I enjoy the attention that I get on this day? Yes. But come Monday there is a sink full of dishes from Sunday that I will ultimately end up washing. The sacrifices of women will only come into focus when the balance is restored on this planet. How do we do that? Dialogue, honest and open communication.”
Iyi also pointed out that one o
f the biggest issues facing women today is domestic violence.
“As a self-defense instructor for women, I see a lot of violence because I’m paying attention,” she said. “Men today are feeling emasculated and in turn try to find their manhood in abusing the very women that should be precious to them: His woman, child, mother and sister. This has to stop. I teach women that you don’t have to be the victim, that you can protect yourself. Self-love is self-defense.”
Watch senior editor Bankole Thompson’s weekly show, “Center Stage,” on WADL TV 38, Saturdays at 1 p.m. This Saturday’s program, May 15, will feature a round-table with the organizers of the upcoming U.S. Social Forum in Detroit and an exclusive interview with Dara Munson, president & CEO of Big Brothers and Big Sisters of Metropolitan Detroit. Thompson is the author of a book on President Obama and Black America to be released this summer. E-mail bthompson@michronicle.com.