“No such thing as a life that’s better than yours
No such thing, no such thing… But you ain’t never gon’ be happy till you love yours”
J. Cole “Love Yourz”
As black women, we are the warriors of our communities and the glue that bonds our families. You will find us teaching our children to be Kings and Queens, supporting our lovers on their journeys to success, pushing our friends to believe in themselves, and warning our foes never to underestimate us. We are raised to be leaders in the classroom, in the community and the home. We are built to speak when others are silent and to fight when others have given up. We are a force: resilient, strong, and capable.
Unfortunately, we spend the better parts of our lives fighting for and investing in others, and in doing so, we put their needs before our own and forget to nurture our most important assets: ourselves. But when the sun sets and the raging battle against stereotypes, double standards, finances and common core homework quiets in the night, who will be there to fight for us?
As a black woman, we can be our biggest foe. We spend so much time focusing on, and investing in others that we tend to lose ourselves in the chaos of life by living in the shadows of what’s best for everyone else. But what’s best for you? It’s time you reevaluate yourself through the challenges of self-
Discovery and self-love by asking yourself the following questions:
- Who are you?
- Do you exist outside of the expectations of your family?
- What is your weakness, or, in other words, areas in need of improvement?
- Do you embrace them?
- How can you overcome them?
- How often do you put yourself first?
- When is the last time you did something for yourself?
- When your body talks do you listen?
- What makes you passionate about life?
- What are your dreams?
Remember that it will take you to look past the narrative of being told who you’re supposed to be to see who you truly are. Love that person. Granted, when the world is on your shoulders there isn’t room for selfishness. But what’s at risk when you don’t indulge in the smallest amounts of self- love? Your sanity. Inside every strong woman is a girl that is fighting to be valued and loved. Appreciate her, and you will never lose sight of who you are.
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