This month, the “Take Charge of Your Health Today” page focuses on healthy relationships. Vianca Masucci, health advocate at the Urban League of Greater Pittsburgh, and Esther L. Bush, president and CEO of the Urban League of Greater Pittsburgh, speak on this topic.
EB: Good morning, Vianca. With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, it’s the perfect time to talk about healthy relationships.
VM: Hi, Ms. Bush. This is a good time to focus on the topic of healthy relationships. But I think that this is a topic that we should discuss all the time, at every level. Relationships are an important part of our wellness.
EB: They surely are. Our social and romantic relationships influence our overall health and quality of life. Relationships that promote good health are respectful, loving and mutually beneficial, meaning that both you and your partner are supporting each other’s needs. Unhealthy relationships are controlling and abusive in some way—physically, sexually, emotionally, financially, etc.
VM: Unhealthy relationships in the context of domestic or intimate partner violence is not a new topic to the “Take Charge” series. As I’m sure you remember, Ms. Bush, we’ve covered it a few times before on this page. The reason that it keeps coming up is because this continues to be a persistent and prevalent issue across all walks of life. That’s why I’m happy that we could feature Dr. Miller’s research this month. Her work is focused on solutions and preventing violence by teaching youths about healthy relationships. It’s a good jumping-off point for a conversation about how we can tackle this problem head-on as individuals in our close circles and as community members in our bigger circles.
EB: Yes, Vianca. It’s everyone’s responsibility to have this conversation about what we can do to prevent domestic violence, not just treat it. This is especially critical in the Black community because the conversation focuses on changing our cultural view so that we are not tolerant of violence but, instead, expect and emulate healthy relationships. As a community, we need to talk about how our attitudes influence our views of violence. Because of our exposure to violence against Blacks and the prevalence of violence in Black communities, the Black community has built up a great tolerance to violence. That feeds our cultural acceptance of violence. We must regularly challenge that notion that violence is inevitable and work together towards creating more safe and peaceful communities. At the same time, we need to talk about our cultural view on relationships.
VM: So, let’s talk about what works. What can community members do to help prevent domestic or intimate partner violence?
EB: Dr. Miller’s research has shown us what works—talking early and often with children about healthy and respectful relationships. Teach children and youths in your life about the ingredients that make up a healthy relationship. We need to give youths the skills to see harmful behaviors and to safely interrupt their peers when they see abusive behaviors. Model those qualities for our youths in your relationships by displaying mature, productive and positive ways to resolve conflict with your partners, friends and family members. Make time to have regular conversations with them over the course of their childhoods about good relationships, so that when they’re ready to form their own relationships, they expect respect, love and support.
VM: Great advice, Ms. Bush. I’d also add that it’s so important to call out negative relationship models in the media that the children in your life consume. If they’re watching a movie, listening to a song or even playing a game that features an abusive character or depicts an unhealthy relationship, talk to them about why it’s wrong and explain what’s right. Because there are so many negative relationship models shown in mainstream media—nowadays, even on political news outlets—you can use these opportunities to talk to the children in your life about healthy relationships.
EB: Thank you for sharing your insight, Vianca. I encourage everyone to take action, on individual and community levels, to help prevent intimate partner violence. We must all participate to make a change.
If you need more information on ways you can get involved, check out the partners on this page or visit https://southwestpasaysnomore.org/. If you have any questions about what you see on this page, contact the Community PARTners Core at partners@hs.pitt.edu.
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