“Whatever you’re going to do, go ahead and do it, because you know we can’t keep anything on our mind.”
These were the last words Southfield resident Tresa Carter remembers hearing from her California cousin E. G., who called her T-Bone. Back then, it didn’t make a lot of sense to Carter.
“I remember being confused by his words and trying to dismiss them, but they stayed with me over the years — especially as my mother declined,” Carter said.
Carter, an only child, served as her mother’s primary caregiver for more than 15 years as her mother’s mind deteriorated and she struggled with daily tasks.
“She came over one day and never left,” said Carter, who was working and going to school on top of caregiving. “One day turned into one week, then one year and more.”
Before her mom moved in, her mom had a stroke. “She seemed to be recovering well. However, as time went on she was diagnosed with delusion disorder. She would tell of babies crawling out from under her bed, people being squashed in the TV, women telling her to leave her bedroom. It was very difficult.”
Not long after her mother’s passing, Carter’s aunt — Beatrice Bagwell — was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease. Her godfather, Allen Harris, was diagnosed with dementia as well.
“I just thought it was a coincidence,” Carter said. “I didn’t relate the incidents, but with each of them it was like watching them step off a cliff. You’re trying to reach for them, to grab them, save them, pull them back, but you can’t reach them. Most of the time, they don’t know to reach back. You’re watching all of this in slow motion. It’s devastating.
“I started reading and realized it could very well be hereditary. It’s now bothering me, because I’m the only child. I have sons, grandchildren and great grandchildren.”
According to Carter, that’s when she decided she needed to try to make a difference.
“It was like, there’s gotta be help out there,” she said. “I had to do something. I started to see Alzheimer’s Association Walk to End Alzheimer’s commercials and reached out to the Association.”
This year, in addition to participating in the Detroit Walk to End Alzheimer’s on Oct. 30, Carter/Team MindWalker is hosting a “Hustle with Us” Hustle-a-thon on Father’s Day, June 20 from 9 a.m.-9 p.m. The event is part of The Longest Day®, which involves thousands of participants from across the world coming together on the summer solstice to fight the darkness of Alzheimer’s through an activity of their choice.
“Hustle with Us” will take place at John Grace Park in Southfield. Donations of $5 or more at the gate to participate in the event will go toward dementia care, support and research.
“We’re excited to host this event and welcome everyone,” Carter said. “Of course, we also know that it’s Father’s Day and would love if father’s can come step, help/bring others facing dementia or just join us to show general support. You don’t need to know how to hustle. We just want to have some fun together in support of this great cause.
“Dementia is very real, and it could happen to you or your family members. We all have to attack this together. Join us as we help to save OUR MINDS…one step at a time.”
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