Love on You: Black Queens, Fix Your Crown Today 

“Even if it makes others uncomfortable, I will love who I am,” Janelle Monáe is quoted as saying, when it comes to making herself a priority even if others won’t.  

In honor of March celebrating Women’s History, women are invited to dust off their crowns, adjust them and place them firmly back on their heads this month and beyond while reminding themselves that they are queens and should be celebrated, especially by themselves, on the daily.  

With this year’s 2022 Women’s History theme being, “Providing Healing, Promoting Hope,” the month serves as a tribute and reminder of the endless work done by caregivers and frontline workers during the pandemic. Those most deserving of recognition are the thousands of women of all cultures who have provided both healing and hope throughout history, according to a press release.  

But this is nothing new for women who have been in the caregiving role for centuries.  

“Women as healers harken back to ancient times. Healing is the personal experience of transcending suffering and transforming it to wholeness. The gift of hope spreads light to the lives of others and reflects a belief in the unlimited possibilities of this and future generations. Together, healing and hope are essential fuels for our dreams and our recovery,” according to the National Women’s History Alliance (NWHA).  

This year, especially, the organization notes “the importance of healers and caregivers who are helping to promote and sustain hope for the future.”   

“The NWHA encourages communities throughout the country to honor local women who bring and have historically brought these priceless gifts to their families, workplaces and neighborhoods, sometimes at great sacrifice,” the release added. “These are the women who, as counselors and clerics, artists and teachers, doctors, nurses, mothers and grandmothers listen, ease suffering, restore dignity, and make decisions for our general as well as our personal welfare.”  

With restoring dignity and making yourself a priority, Be Spoke Wellness Partners wrote in an article that women can take charge of their own life in five steps.   

“When you think about paying attention to yourself—your dreams, your body, your mental health, and everything that has to do with you—what is it that you are thinking about?” author Limor Weinstein noted. “How would you feel if just for one hour [and maybe we can even stretch this a little bit to one day], you only think about you and your needs? Many of us confuse taking care of ourselves with being selfish or inconsiderate, but if you truly give this some thought, you’ll realize that in order to be all that you want for everyone else, you must first take care of yourself and make yourself a priority.”   

Weinstein said that these steps include being concerned about yourself while not feeling selfish.  


Step 1: Tell yourself it’s allowed to be selfish.   

“While saying ‘selfish’ has negative connotations, I am using it purposely because I think that it is important that you know that it is okay to take care of yourself and attend to your needs,” Weinstein said, adding that one thing to do is stand in front of the mirror and ask yourself: “What do I want? What do I need? How can I make myself feel better at this moment?”    

She added that to write the answers down is “even better” and a great start to getting on the self-prioritization journey.   

 Step 2: Write down several things that are priorities in your life.   

“It might help to highlight the things that are important to you, then, take a look at the list and think about everything that you have done the past week. Was any of what you did related to the list? Let’s even be more specific and ask yourself if what you’ve done in the past week was related to the top three things that are important to you or that you want to achieve,” Weinstein added.   

Step 3: Find out what is holding you back from your potential.   

“For most people, fears and anxiety are at the core of why they’re not making themselves a priority,” Weinstein said, adding that, “whatever it is standing in your way, once again, ask yourself why.”    

Step 4: What is it that will make me happy?   

“Continue by asking yourself, what is it that I need to do to get myself there?” Weinstein said of being happy, adding that it is easy to live on autopilot, but it’s time to snap out of that and push harder to get to that space of happiness.  

“Often, making yourself a priority isn’t easy and maybe it includes talking to a therapist who can help you see what it is that you really want more clearly,” she said.    

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