It’s cuffing season, ladies and fellas – it’s time to possibly start looking for the (temporary) one, right?
As Fall is well underway and the seasonal holidays ramp up and kick into full swing, according to modern-day social pressures, cuffing season is now in the mix, and our good single folks should probably start looking for their next boo but hold on – not so fast.
For those a bit in the dark, cuffing season refers to a period where single people begin looking for short-term partnerships to pass the colder months of the year. Cuffing season typically starts in October and lasts until just after Valentine’s Day.
According to an article, CUFFING SEASON: Everything We Learned About Our Weird Winter Relationships, a recent study shows that many study participants – over 56 percent – believe that the term, “cuffing season” is real, although the idea is relatively new. Refinery29 reported that the phrase first showed up around 2011 on Urban Dictionary.
The Michigan Chronicle reached out to a few of the single fellas and got their take on this seasonal phenomenon and what they’re looking for in a woman — especially amidst the ever-competing quarantine baes and all that. Guys, it’s your turn. Ladies, let’s read on:
A Short-Term Entanglement or Something More?
Dr. Eddie Connor, a best-selling author, international speaker, and college professor, said that cuffing season happens after the hot boy/ hot girl summer season goes away.
“Oftentimes, it can be a short-term entanglement that ends when springtime rolls around because it became a relation-slip or situation-ship,” he said, adding that the caveat though is everybody that has a heart doesn’t have a heart.
“There’s nothing worse than doing permanent things with temporary people. What is it to have a warm body, if the person you’re connected to has a cold heart?”
Connor, whose favorite holiday is Christmas, said that he has been single during the holiday season before, and that the best antidote to “stave off the feelings of loneliness and sadness” is to give to others.
“Yes, it’s important to acknowledge those emotions and the root cause[s] of them,” Connor said, adding that surrounding yourself with family, friends and accountability partners “helps to offset the holiday blues.”
Connor added that while there is nothing wrong with looking for a bae during this time, focusing on the relationship internally with oneself is “vitally important before seeking a relationship.”
“As you are waiting begin working by pouring into your purpose, practicing self-discipline and personal development,” he said adding that a lady with a sweet personality who knows her purpose is attractive.
“Character, intelligence, personality and beauty create an indelible imprint on a woman that can’t be erased. A man can’t help but acknowledge a lady who wears her crown like a queen, keeps her standards higher than her heels and whose personality is a fragrance, not an odor,” he said. “It’s not that she’s perfect but she’s worth it.”
He added that he believes that every woman should know about the general needs of a man before looking to date, which he talks about in-depth in his books on relationship rules.
“You are most ready to date when it’s not a need, rather it’s a choice,” Connor added. “When you’re not needy but needed that choice allows you to make decisions that provide purposeful direction. Never be desperate to date.”
For more information visit DrEddieAcademy.com.
Not the Blankets and High Energy Bills
Flint resident Errin Whitaker is a Flint charter school educator and said that the term “cuffing season” is actually funny to him when he hears it, though the actual steps of finding that right one are very real.
“People just don’t want to have those energy bills up and tons of blankets and why not try to find another individual they can keep warm with?” Whitaker said, adding that these relationships, like other relationships, usually come with a certain level of responsibility. “I think the pandemic has made it so people are more thoughtful about who they get involved with or how long they are involved with an individual.”
Whitaker added that he thinks people’s tolerance has decreased.
“Some people have quarantine baes (a whole ‘nother discussion),” he said, adding that in the midst of that people have realized they don’t necessarily have to spend the cold with a person because they might have already spent the whole year with that person – especially if it’s not serious.
Whitaker, whose favorite holiday is Thanksgiving, had his own quarantine bae, said that he is now single because he realized how much he liked his solitude.
“I haven’t lived with anybody since then,” he said of the relationship ending in March.
Whitaker said that he is looking for more serious encounters with women, and “if the right one comes along” he is open to dating – even now, especially someone with soothing energy and discipline.
“I feel like I don’t want to waste anybody’s time and I don’t want my time wasted,” he said.
It’s the Wholeness for Him
Detroit resident Jeff Jones, a real estate investor/agent and clothing brand designer, said that for him, cuffing season means that summer is officially over and winter is approaching.
“The time all the single people doing their last-minute recruiting trying to lock in who they [are] spending their winter inside with. These could turn into long-lasting relationships, or it could just be that — a season,” he said.
Jones, whose favorite holiday is Thanksgiving, added that he is attracted to a woman who has drive, is ambitious, smart, loyal, supportive, stable, and has good communication skills, along with a calm and nurturing side. He also said that men are interested in a woman who can “level up” her own bag first before trying to get a man with one.
“Level up yourself as a whole first before trying to jump in a relationship to get there,” he said. “We gotta start coming into these relationships whole, not broken and expecting to be fixed. Everything you bring should be a plus, not a subtraction. This actually goes for some men now, too. Know yourself and what you truly want and deserve. Not what you think or what you see on the internet.”